


Boy (you let me down)

by tukimecca



Category: Persona 4
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Misunderstandings, mention of harem route, mention of protag/everyone
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-27
Updated: 2020-07-27
Packaged: 2021-03-06 06:54:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,008
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25549294
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tukimecca/pseuds/tukimecca
Summary: Yosuke found out about Yu's many affairs with many girls, Yu didn't even realize.
Relationships: Hanamura Yosuke/Narukami Yu, Hanamura Yosuke/Persona 4 Protagonist, Hanamura Yosuke/Seta Souji
Comments: 2
Kudos: 52





	Boy (you let me down)

**Author's Note:**

> I saw Yosuke’s supposed? Social link reverse dialog on twitter after supposed? Harem? Route? And, boyyy, do I H A V E this visceral need to write something about it. This was meant to be a oneshot but I’m struggling to write the last part because it’s heavier on dialog. So, here it is; part one
> 
> WARNING: no beta. Sorry for grammatical errors, english isn’t my first language

__ I’m not naive, but I thought you’re the perfect thing for me,   
Don’t get me wrong, you can be wonderful sometimes   
But then you’re lost, and you can’t look me in the eyes

Four Leaf Clover - Diana Vickers

:::

“You haven’t hung out with Yosuke-kun lately...”

That had been the first sign. The first out of the two that he’s  _ privileged _ enough to have. One that he ignored, paid no heed to for he was too busy (he’s  _ always _ too busy), swamped with responsibilities no one imposed on him but himself.

He knew that logically speaking, they won’t mind, not that much anyway. They won’t take it personally if he failed to deliver the goods on time. Sakakibara-san trusted him well enough after he helped her with her table twice, the socially awkward Kobayashi-san could use some time to practice her conversation skill before he ‘coached’ her to speak again. It’s not like he still needed to attend the drama club that much either, Yumi has left, and the members no longer have the same spark they had when she was still around.

Meanwhile, the perfectionist in him won't stop harrowing him, won't stop nagging unless he's always up and running, always keeping up with his schedules. A constant, steady mechanical voice at the back of his head;  _ meet someone. do them favors. help them. always be ready at their beck and call. always present. don't make them upset. do something to make them like you. be sensitive to their feelings. study. be on top of your game. don't say no. don't forget the dates. make promises to make them happy. be ready to help. always say yes. _

And he's just human, despite running on the more logical side of his brain most of the time, in the face of his unfeeling and goal-driven self, the less than rational side of him was winning. He's given up pretending that he's scared to lose everything, all the relationships and bonds he has spent hundreds of hours to forge. It is not necessarily bad; fearing something, he took it with a stride and pushed himself to work harder, he genuinely loves helping people after all, he's been nothing but sincere with his friendship as well.

Yu's just human, it's only natural he doesn't wanna lose people he holds dear, people he's acquaintances with.

Ironically, he doesn't realize, not until the second time Yukiko brings it up anyways, that he's doing exactly just  _ that _ ; the thing that he fears the most.

Destroying a bond. That he has forged, strong enough to slaine, like blacksmith with their blades and steels. By the time he realized, the edge had been dulled; red and crusting to rust.

:::

It's been exactly ten days. Yosuke doesn't think Yu even realized. Heck, they're not talking anymore. He wonders when and where had they gone wrong. He wonders if it was his fault, surely, it has been his fault. Afterall, he's the harbinger of doom Junes kid while Yu is the Inaba golden boy. Yu's perfect, he doesn't make mistakes. He will always be in the right, even the right things will bend and twist to his will because he is the epitome of all things good and dignitary.

So obviously, Yosuke's the one in the wrong. He's not doing well enough, in whatever he's supposed to be doing as someone's lover. In his defense, this has been his first relationship, with a boy none the least. Yosuke had ideas of what he would do for a girlfriend (buy them flowers, pick them up every morning, compliment their hair), but not so much for a boyfriend. Sure, they said he can do the same thing for love is a universal thing, gender doesn't matter, you just need to do something to make your significant others happy, to make them feel loved and appreciated.

Yosuke wonders if he hadn't done it enough; making Yu feel loved and appreciated, making Yu feel precious and treasured. He wonders if he hadn't said, _ "i love you," _ quiet enough. Yu has always been the outspoken and vocal one between the two of them when it comes to feelings. Always so calm and composed whenever he told Yosuke that he loves him, he likes and trusts him, and apart they might be physically in the future, Yu will always stay by his side.

Yu told him that, "I think we'll be alright, we will survive."

That seems to be aeon ago. It's been ten days they're on non-speaking terms and Yu has shown no sign of even realizing that Yosuke doesn't text him anymore.

Yosuke thinks, as he continues staring unseeingly at the ceiling, that they won't be alright.

At least him, he alone won't be alright, while Yu will be alright.

With someone else. With one of the many girls he's dating, if not one of them.

:::

Yu believes whole-heartedly that all things, broken and scarred, can be healed. Can be fixed. Everything can be mended, an opened hole can be patched, broken seams can be stitched. Missing puzzles can be found.

So, why, why is he doubting that he can set things right between him and Yosuke?

Perhaps because the moment he realized there was something wrong between him and his boyfriend ( _ lover, partner, best friend, second in command. God, whatever Yosuke wanted them to be _ ), he also realized that it's been too late.  _ Worse _ ; he needed someone to point it out for him, like he's helpless, dumb, clueless child who can't tell the obvious.

It took Yukiko, again, the ever so kind and observant Yukiko, to suggest, "shouldn't you talk to him? I think he's waiting for you..." a pause, a frown. A sad expression on her face, lined with hesitation and confusion like she genuinely doesn't know if she was saying the right thing, "maybe."

Yu didn't immediately understand who and what she was talking about, but at least he actually listened, not just heard her question in passing like he did the first time. Methodically wrapping his lunchbox, the one he just shared with her to let her know how kimchi fried rice actually tasted when done right, Yu calmly asked, "who?"

If he was looking at Yukiko's, he would have seen how quickly crushing sorrow overtook her shock. He would have seen how Yukiko covered her mouth like she didn't know what to say, would have seen the widening of her eyes like she didn't believe what she's saying.

Yu hadn't been looking at her so he could only hear; her gasp, the piercing silence that suddenly settled, followed by a shaky,

"Yosuke-kun...Oh no, Yu-kun, you didn't-"

Perhaps, because he knew when you put love into the equation, things work differently. 

:::

Yosuke didn't hear him directly from him, of course not. He's too kind to deliver the blow himself. Yosuke would know, after all, he loves him; so dearly and irrevocably that he's willing to learn and understand each and every curve, each and every single to his edge.

But perhaps, he hasn't been doing it well enough. Perhaps he never knew him as well as he thought. Perhaps he simply wasn't clever enough to see it through. It frustrated him because he should have known, he should have known better that there's no way someone as good as Yu Narukami would fall in love with him. His friendship is the most Yosuke could have, is all he's worth. He should have been satisfied with it and go home, why did he have to go and demand for Yu's love and utmost devotion?

He's nobody. He's no one. All he's ever amounted to is all for Junes. All the goods and the bads, perhaps a little more on the good side. He should have known better, it has happened before back in the city, nobody cared about him for who he is, they only cared because they wanted something in their pocket. Yosuke should have remembered that, but he supposed having a persona and being their leader's second in command got to his head a little bit.  _ A lot _ , that he couldn't see what's in front of him. He's not the second in command because he's stronger, better than anyone else either; it's just because he's faster, having a little early start than anyone that he's conveniently appointed as their second in command.  _ Ha _ , who was he kidding, not that the position even mattered actually. Nobody bought that, nobody listened to him unless Yu made them. Nobody in his team followed him, when they did, for him. They followed Yosuke for Yu, because of Yu.

Yu who has given Yosuke a place, a role to fit into. Has given him hope, faith, and love. Kind, sympathetic Yu. It's only normal that he's also the one to take all of those things away. Yosuke's hope. Faith. Love.

Yosuke bitterly thought that this wasn't the kindness that he needed from Yu. If Yu wanted to hurt him, to punish him for lacking, for not trying hard enough and forgetting his place, he'd rather have Yu do it directly. He'd rather have Yu hurt him with any other way than  _ this _ .

He didn't know what to make of it, the rumor, when it first reached him. He was spending lunchtime with Ichijou and Nagase, Yu's  _ out of commission _ , having promised Rise that he'd share his newest tofu creation in hope they can sell it at her grandmother's place. Yosuke's no stranger to this, he knew how much his (ex) boyfriend loves to experiment with his cooking on top of helping out people. When they agreed to be in a relationship, Yosuke promised his partner that he won't have any problem with Yu spending time with someone else, boys and girls included. Because he knew it makes Yu happy, because he knew Yu  _ needs  _ to be constantly working and doing something for someone else. Because Yosuke has fallen in love with such Yu; selfless and magnanimous Narukami Yu who would do anything in his power to make everyone happy. Seeing Yu's world expands makes Yosuke happy as well.

It made him lonely sometimes, sure, but compared to when they weren't dating, Yosuke felt more at ease. He no longer felt the need to compete for Yu's attention. He's Yu's boyfriend, he's different; he's  _ special _ . He's the one Yu called by the end of the day to share his date with, and has always been the one Yu felt comfortable enough to let his guard down, the one whose kiss Yu stole when nobody was looking.

Yosuke trusted him, and looked where he got himself now. Misguided. Broken hearted. This is what you get when you forget your place, when you let those kisses and  _ i love you _ s got to your head. When you let someone else got a hold of your heart. Blinded. It has happened before. A countless time. Too many instances to count. With Saki-senpai. With girls back in the city whose names he can no longer remember.

He might be Yu's  _ only  _ boyfriend, but apparently, he's not his only lovers. Lover _ s _ . With  _ s. _ Plural.

They kept their relationship in secret, a mutual agreement. Mutual understanding. Yosuke had enough spotlight on his back with being the Junes Kid and while Yu didn't think Dojima will object, he has little faith that Inaba will be that accepting. Ultimately, the attention will fall on Dojima, who's been criticized for the case's lack of development.

Nobody knows they're dating but themselves, of course Nagase and Ichijou have absolutely no idea either. Ichijou didn't know that he's  _ exposing  _ his friend's boyfriend when he brought up something he heard from his junior in the basketball club.

"Hey, Hanamura, I know Narukami's popular but he never strikes me as a player, much less a, err," the bluenette paused, hesitating.

Yosuke, not a stranger of hearing Yu's supposed love escapades and journey in robbing as well as breaking hearts, was unaffected. Rolling his eyes, he prompted, "a what, Ichijou? Spill. What else are they talking about him now?"

Thinking about how his boyfriend can't get a break, Yosuke was caught off guard when Ichijou added, "a two timer."

_ Huh, that's new _ **_._ ** Yosuke thought, completely aware of the uneasy jostle at the pit of his stomach. "Two timers? How come?"

Neither Ichijou nor Nagase were aware of the changes on Yosuke's expression as they continued talking. "Ah, I heard something similar too. Someone apparently saw Narukami-kun hugging Kujikawa Rise the other day, but someone else said they had seen him and Satonaka holding hands," Nagase supplied, much to Ichijou's surprise.

"Dude, seriously!?! Satonaka too? B-but I thought he knew I, and it wasn't, wasn't it Ozawa?" At the third name in conversation, Yosuke frowned. Hugging Rise and holding Chie's hand is one thing that Yosuke can  _ tolerate,  _ they're his friends and Yosuke knew they're depending on Yu as much as Yosuke did. Yosuke also knew that Yu felt the obligation to help them, as friend and as team leader.

But Ozawa? If it was Ebihara, Yosuke wouldn't think too much about it. Yu had told him about how he had fake dated the girl after all, he didn't go to specific but he has assured Yosuke that it's over now, plus he was never into her.

"Ozawa? Don't you mean Ebihara?" Nagase mirrored Yosuke's thought and expression. She was his team's manager, it's natural that he knew of their relationship.

"No, no! But, well, well, fuck, yes? Satori-kun told me he saw Narukami and Ozawa were coming out of the cinema then there was Ebihara suddenly talking loudly about how Narukami ditched her for, to quote her; plain and lame, boring girl like Ozawa." Ichijou gestured with his fingers, cringing. "Of course Ozawa wasn't taking that attitude, she talked back, they nearly had a legit catfight in front of the cinema! In the broad daylight! Thankfully there was a police nearby so things could be stopped before it escalated further."

Nagase groaned, looking sympathetic for a friend who wasn't there. "Talk about dramatic. This is why girls are pain in the ass."

"Not that I can blame them, especially not when, uhh, if, he really was two timing on them. And, and that's not all! There's still more!"

Unconsciously, Yosuke leaned forward. Eager to learn. Too scared to acknowledge that he wanted to learn. "You sure he's two timing them? Are they even dating in the first place for him to two time them?"

"Here's the thing, Hanamura," Ichijou mustered the most scandalous tone he could manage. If Yosuke wasn't so nervous, he'd find it ridiculous. "Satori-kun has a friend in drama club. She told Satori that Narukami and Ozawa are dating! When Ozawa was struggling with her father, Narukami was always there to support her, he'd always visit her at the hospital after practice. She and the club went to visit her father once, everyone can see how much Ozawa was leaning on him for support. She said it's so romantic how much Yu's taking care of her."

Yosuke swallowed down his gasp by taking a sip of his strawberry milk. He knew Yu have close friend in drama club, but he never heard that his friend in drama club was struggling so much that Yu had...to go  _ that  _ far.

"That's why what Yu did after the police stopped them is even more surprising! Instead of going home with his date, Ozawa, he went with Ebihara instead! How could he do that in front of his girlfriend?"

"But I thought he and Ebihara are not a thing anymore," Nagase said, sounding utterly confused.

"That's what we thought, because Narukami told us so, right? What if they never really break up in the first place and he's only doing that so he can-"

"Enough!" Yosuke hissed sharply, clenching the cartoon of milk hard enough to crush. Hard enough that Ichijou’s words died before making their way out of Ichijou’s throat. Hard enough for the milk to spill, dripping sticky and wet down his fisted hand, glueing Nagase’s gaze on him.

“Hana-”

“Enough is enough!” Sharply, the burnette cut. Affronted on his boyfriend’s behalf. Or perhaps, simply didn't want to think, or hear anymore about the prospect that his boyfriend was not only cheating on him, but;  _ two? Three? Four? _ timing him. Unconsciously, he shook his head, in denial. In refusal. In rejection.

In a vain attempt of dispelling the possible betrayal he’s subjected to, foolishly entertaining himself with the thought that if he shook his head hard enough that he could eject the information he just heard out of his brain,it could simply disappear. Cancelled. Untrue. Did not and never happened. How stupid. How foolish. How pathetic.

“Hanamura...”

“I don’t, I don’t wanna hear it anymore. It’s not true, Yu’s not like- He won’t do something like that. He’s not,” Yosuke paused, because when he finally looked at his friends, when he finally saw the mirroring expression on their faces, he knew that he didn’t sound as convincing that he hoped he’d be.

At his faltering, Nagase elbowed Ichijou, who took it as a sign to continue. Well, he’s the one who spoke it in the first place, so he might as well be the one to wrap the topic. “Hanamura, man, I knew you two are close and he’s your best friend, I know it’s hard to believe. I mean, he’s our friends too and we know how good of a man he is, but this isn’t the first time people talked about him like this, and it’s just, it’s happening a lot lately, and I just can’t,” the bluenette paused. He didn’t continue until he looked away from Yosuke, sounding genuinely remorseful that he had to even talk about this. “There must be some truth behind this...”

Yosuke didn’t even want to imagine what kind of expression he had, how miserable he must have looked like, that Ichijou felt the need to look away.

In something that’s closer to mercy than pity.


End file.
